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Love Deeper
Imagine trying to explain the colour blue. Explaining love would be
a bit like that - deeply familiar yet somehow beyond words.
Nonetheless, love isn't just an emotion but a biological foundation
of human existence - the basis of social life and coordination. It's
in the small moments: making coffee just the way someone likes it,
remembering their story about that childhood pet or sitting in
comfortable silence together. These aren't just nice gestures -
they're manifestations of mutual acceptance, where we create a space
for another's legitimate existence.
Love isn't just
those butterfly feelings or grand gestures we see in movies. It's
more like tending a fire. Sometimes, it roars bright and warm;
sometimes, it's just gentle embers needing attention. Love is a
self-creating, self-maintaining process! The real magic isn't in
starting the fire but in learning to keep it alive through all
seasons, through constant coordination of behaviors and emotions.
We often think of love as something that happens to us, like
being struck by lightning. But lasting love is more active - it's a
choice we make every day, in how we speak, listen, forgive, and grow
together.
Love is fundamental to human biological and
social development. It's about seeing someone fully, imperfections
and all, and choosing to nurture their growth while allowing them to
nurture yours - creating a consensual domain of mutual acceptance
and coordination.
Humberto Maturana's work changed my life. It might impact yours as
well.